Sunday, May 10, 2015

SLOW SUNDAY: The Other Side of Mother's Day

Mother. Being a mother  is one of the best things that ever happened to me. After my baby was born, every Mother's Day, I receive numerous greetings and it made me feel very, very special. 

But it's not always the case. Before the baby's born, that is. 

Back in 2007, when my boyfriend (who is now my hubby) and I decided to tie the knot, we were so in cloud 9 and didn't actually think about anything else, but being together. As the months past by, people then asked us if we already have our "bundle of joy". It was "bearable" on the first year of marriage but it became difficult on the second.. third.. and fourth year. 

I was grumpy and looked at things negatively. Every time we try to conceive and end up being unsuccessful, I spent a large amount of time in the bathroom, staring at nothing, like someone with catatonic schizophrenia. This is not a laughing matter. I was on the verge of losing my mind, at that time. If not for my constant prayers, I would've been dragged down by depression. 

No words or hugs can ease the pain (although it is nice to have one, once in awhile). I chased doctors specializing in infertility for years. Looked for the answers and undergone series of tests to check why I can't get pregnant. On the 4th year of our marriage, Hubby and I decided to stop trying too hard. If we are meant to be parents, we will be parents. 

With a heavy heart, we stopped seeing our doctor. Talking about "babies" and stuff that comes with it were forbidden in our household. We even perfected the art of being insensitive of what others think of us and the annoying question of why we don't have kids yet. 

But we did not stop asking God for a baby. We were also open to adopt because being a parent is more important than where the baby came from. I, myself, is adopted and I turned out okay. So it's not an issue. 

Then a miracle happened. After 4 long years of waiting, I got pregnant and the rest is history. 

The reason why I created this post is to let others feel that they are not alone. It breaks my heart to see people close to my heart go through this difficulty and I cannot do anything to console them because only themselves can ease the pain. I remember when I was going through the same phase, I shut myself from the world. It was too painful for me whenever I see a colleague got pregnant or a long time friend posts a milestone of her baby. I can't help but drown myself in tears whenever I see picture of a "complete" family (there's father, mother and baby). 

What I can tell you is that if you feel like crying, cry. Let yourself be sad sometimes but don't let it takeover your life. It's just a phase. It will end. Let me be the living proof of that. 

Today, I want to greet all the awesome mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day and to all equally awesome ladies who are trying to conceive, an advance Happy Mother's Day as well. It's not easy but don't lose hope. All your effort, with the help of our God Almighty, will pay off. Just wait. Because all these will be given to you at the right time, His time. 

Sending my love to you all! 


  1. Dude. You just made me cry. Haha! Love you. Thanks for this. *Hugs*

    1. Aww... Don't cry *hugs* labyu too, dude :)


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